Gary Parrish

To recap ...

Rick Pitino had sex with a woman at a restaurant.

Then she got pregnant.

Then he paid for her to have an abortion.

Then she married one of his friends.

Then she tried to extort money from Pitino.

Then she accused him of rape.

And, man, is this a bizarre story or what?

I'm not sure whether the lesson is to be faithful to your wife or fearful of crazy women, but there's a lesson in there somewhere, I'm certain. And what's up with this Tim Sypher character? How can you marry a woman six months after she had an abortion due to your boss getting her pregnant? Isn't that a bit weird? Unless, of course, he was under orders from Pitino, who might've figured the best way to keep this woman quiet was to have his friend marry her.

You know, keep your friends close and affairs closer.

(Or something like that.)

I guess I could be serious about all this, but, really, what's the point? It's such a strange situation on a lot of different levels, and the only people I can muster any sympathy for are Pitino's wife, Joanne, and his children -- particularly Richard Pitino, who was on the Louisville staff until this offseason and thus in the middle of a circus where he almost certainly found himself torn between being loyal to his boss and angry at his father.

Karen Sypher?

She's obviously loony .

Tim Sypher?

I don't get him at all.

Rick Pitino?

He's a helluva basketball coach, but he got himself into a mess that's impossible to defend.

Me?

I'm just sitting here shaking my head, mezmerized by the soap opera.

(PS: I wrote a column when this all started, and my central point was that no matter how the story ended, it wouldn't end well for anybody. Considering Pitino has been forced to admit to an affair and an abortion, and that Sypher is facing criminal charges, I think I was right in my assumption. Either way, you can read that column at this link , if you want.)